I didn’t realize how much I was hungry until I finished the whole plate, I didn’t even realize the Chris was looking to me, in myself I love calling him Chris, it’s easier that way, I looked at him, and then looked at his plate, he didn’t eat so much, He stood up and took my hand, he said:
-Come with me, we need to talk.
-I said come….
I went with him, he took me to his big beautiful library, I don’t know why he loves it so much, but I know that I love it because I love books and reading. I looked at it with a fascinating look, I fell in love with it at the 1st sight. He woke me up from my thoughts and said:
-You love it?
-yes, so much, it’s so beautiful, so big, it’s wonderful actually.
-mmm, good, now sit we need to talk!
I sat down and listened to him
-Are you in a relationship with Martin?
-what?! it’s not your business!!
-Damn it…..just answer the question without being so stubborn, Amara!!
He was yelling at me, his anger was like a fire, it was like a gun waiting for someone to use it to fire its bullets, I didn’t see him that way before!
I took a breath and then I said:
-No, we aren’t together, but we will go on a date.
I started to think about what should I say, tell him that I like Martin and he likes me too, or lie to him, but what if he knows that I’m lying?!! I should be honest whatever happened.
-We like each other.
-we like each other so we decided to go on date, what’s wrong with that?
-the wrong is that you’re mine!
I opened my eyes like I’m seeing a horror movie or something,
-You’re mine, Amara.
-No, No, I’m not, I refused this, refused your offer, your lifestyle, your game or whatever you call it…
-I know you refused, but I don’t give up quickly, my dear, I left you for a month now to settle everything in your mind and then I should make my next move, to call you and talk to you again.
Suddenly I heard the rains outside, it was raining, I looked to the window in this library, it was raining so much, then I back to him, and said:
-You can say about me whatever you want, but I’ll not leave you, and will not give up, because I know you want me too.
I stood up and cried:
-No, I’m not and I will be not.
He stood too and got closer to me, the sound of the rains loud in my ears, in spite of that I’m not outside, but I could feel its sound, he came closer to me, his breath became loud too in my ears, I felt that I will fall apart, I’ll be broken like a small sensitive glass, I tried to go away but he took my hand and pushed me toward him, I felt so little in his hands, so little like a baby girl, I wanted to cry on him, push him away, My tears burnt me, my voice gone, just my fast breathing, he was affecting me badly, he knew what he was doing to me, My tears pushed its way through my eyes to my cheeks, it burnt me, his hand touched my right cheek, wiped my tears, kissed it, then he took my lips in his, he conquered me, destroyed my defence, I stopped listening to the rain, stopped feeling anything except him and his kiss, his hug, Am I really his? Am I so weak to give up to his rules and to him? thoughts in my head fighting and made me tired, I just gave up, I couldn’t back to my conscious until he left me to fall on the couch!
-I know now that you want me too, I sure know that you are mine, Amara! You are mine and no one will take you from me, what’s mine no one can put their hands on it…
-It?! I’m not a thing?! I’m a human with feelings and well.
-I know and your feelings are mine, even your well too!
-I know, it’s not a new thing.
-Because you’re everything.
-What that means?
-Means that you’re strong and weak in the same time, you’re stubborn and beautiful, different, you’re a mystery for me, and I love girls who’re from inside little girls, but outside women, strong ones.
-Let me go, I want to go home, please
-No, it’s raining and I want you to stay tonight.
-I don’t want to stay….
I ran away, opened the door, I went out then I ran toward the main door, I opened it and ran into the rain, I felt the drops of the rain on my face, my hair, my hands and my whole body, my clothes, I felt like I was washing myself, then a hand took me, it was him, his strong hands, He took me, but I pushed him, then he took me again but this time he held me and got inside, he took me upstairs; I said:
-What are you doing, where are we going?
-To my room, young lady!
-Leave me, now!
He went upstairs and got me inside a big, blue and white colored room, it was big and luxury, classic, He threw me on his bed, it was bed, king size bed, with beautiful four columns and white curtain; He said:
-You need to learn how to how to behave well, young lady!
-Stop calling me that.
-It irritates me!!
-Oh, good, but I love to call you that, young-Lady
He pushed on this word to irritate me, to make me angry and crazy, I tried to get up from the bed but he pushed me, and suddenly I found him on me, his hands tied my hands, his body so close to mine, his breath so close, He said:
-You’re making me crazy, Amara!
I couldn’t take my breath, I was shivering but I said:
-Because I like you and want you, but you refuse, you can’t be with Martin, he will not give you what you want and need.
He got closer, his face close to mine, I looked to my right side, his nose on my left cheek, his lips playing on it, he kissed me and said:
-You’re so so beautiful, so amazing, pure, little girl, innocent.
I looked at him and said:
-So you want to take my innocence away?!
-I don’t know, all I know that I want you so much, I want you, I feel that you are going to be my addiction but I can’t stop, I can’t be away from you, stop fighting me, Amara.
He kissed me again on my forehead, then my cheeks, then lips, he kept going down, but after kissing my neck, he left me and went away from me, I looked at him, thinking why he got away from me?
-I won’t take you without your free well, I want you to accept me too.
I didn’t say anything, I wanted him, but I didn’t say that too, he left me and before closing the door he said:
-You’ll sleep here, I will take another room.
-But this is your room, right?!
-So I’m the one who should take another room.
-No, I want yo to sleep here.
He left me and closed the door behind him, I went to the bathroom and washed, took a shower, then I wore a shirt, it was his shirt, black tall shirt for me and big too, I left my clothes to dry, went to the bed, tried to sleep, but nothing, my thoughts keep pushing in my head, I kept thinking, then I cried, I didn’t know when I slept, but I fell asleep!!!