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I walked and keep walking on this island, it’s an island, I walked to search for anything or anyone could help me, this island is so beautiful, full of different kinds of plants, flowers, roses, it takes my breath away, I suddenly found the beach, and a house, white medium size house, I went to it, knocked the door for someone might be living here, the house looks clean and looks like someone lives in it, also the lights were on

–    Hi, anyone here, hello…

No one answers, the door was opened, I got inside, the house was so cozy, warm and wonderful piece of art, in my right hand there was a brick wall fireplace, it was from yellow-white bricks, the walls were white, above the fireplace a portrait of a man, looks so handsome, elegant, rich and dominant, I looked at my left side there were two chairs old and gold like 19th century furniture, I asked again:

–    Hello, anyone here, please?

Also nothing, no sound, I took a look at a door on the left, it was the kitchen, it’s also like 19th-century kitchens,  I took a look at it, then went to the salon, it also a white room, a cozy comfortable couch with two chairs like it, and a few art portraits, they are so beautiful, and a beautiful bookshelf contains a lot of books, and surprising me the books were 1st editions, expensive editions, Jane Eyre, Withering Heights,  Shakespeare’s books and even Charles Dickens books, so wow and so interesting.

There was another room looks like this one was the bedroom, I went to it, it was closed, I knock it, nothing, then I went outside, but suddenly I heard a heavy breathing behind me, a man, tall, dark hair, and brown eyes, handsome, I realized he was the same man in the portrait, he said:

– Who’re you? And what’re you doing here?

– I—I’m lost and knocked a lot but no one answered me, then I got in, I feel cold, I’m really sorry for getting inside without your permission.

– Mmm, got inside and close that door, please.

– Yeah, sure and thanks

I got inside after him, he was so handsome, but I felt that he’s dangerous, he was wearing a white shirt, opened the 1st three bottoms, showing the thick black hair on his chest, black jeans.

He sat down and said to me:

– Please, sit.

I thanked him and sat down, we kept looking at each other, then he got up and took few steps toward me, every time he got closer I feel my breath becoming heavy and feel fears inside me, he sat beside me, put his hand on my forehead, I went back but before I can move away, he took my hand and put his hands on my forehead and said:

– You’re cold and please, don’t be afraid, I’m just seeing if you’ll have a flew or something, wait here until I come back.

– O—okay, thanks.

I was really shivering, I looked at him when he went into his bedroom and after a while, he came back and said:

– Take this and go inside to take a shower, you can’t be in this dress because it’s wet and you’ll be sick, I don’t have women closes so this pants and shirt all I have for you till your dress be good for you to wear it again, go and I have a soup, I’ll give you some….

– Thank you.

I went inside with the same fears inside me from him, he was handsome and somehow full of mystery to me, I got in the hot bath, I felt good, relieve and happy from this elegant bathroom with the 19th-century look, I went outside wearing this large pants closing it so much to not fall from me and the large shirt that made me look like a clown or something, I went outside the room to the salon, I sat down on the couch, I looked at him, when he got inside and put the soup in the little tea table and put a blanket on me then held me the soup.

– Thank you for the soup and everything.

– You’re welcome.

His voice is so deep, so strong, his eyes full of secrets, mystery at least for me, he sat in a chair in front of me, took a book and read it, he didn’t look at me once like I am not here, he didn’t even ask me who am I?

He didn’t say a word, I finished the soup, put it on the table, I looked at him and said:

– You didn’t ask me who am I? Why?

He looked at me,

– I’m Jack, and you’re!

– I’m Elena.

– Why you’re here on this island?

– I was with my team, I’m a photographer, but I got lost discovering this island.

– Mmm, do you have a car?

– Yes, but it’s now stopped.

– Where’s your team?

– I was behind them in my car, the somehow I got inside a wrong way or path, and then I got lost.

He was silent for a moment, then:

– Okay, I’ll find your car after you become good enough to help me and help you to reach your team.

– Thank you so much, I really appreciate what you do for me, thanks for helping me.

I felt a little bit of relieving and begun to trust him a little, he was kind to me and nice, I fell asleep on the couch.

In the next morning, I woke up feeling good and healthy, I smelled a food smell, realized he was in the kitchen, I went to the bathroom, took a quick shower, found my dress tidy and clean on the bed, I wore it, I went to the kitchen, found him doing the most delicious breakfast, the smell was so good and delicious. I said:

– Good morning, thanks again for last night, I’m good now and can help you.

He didn’t look at me but said:

– Okay good, eat then we will go outside search for your car, fortunately, I have a car we will take it and begin the search.

– Okay, thank you so much.

………………

 

We didn’t found my car, and that was so weird, I thought someone could have taken it or something, I kept telling Jack what happened many times, he said he believes me, but who can take it? We thought that maybe my team found it and took it, we came back to his house, I was worried, my cell phone battery was dead, and Jack doesn’t have a charger or a phone even, I don’t know how he lives in here so remotely from people and city and everything.

He realized I was worried, he sat beside me comforting me that everything will be okay and we will get to the city tomorrow to find my team in the hotel I told him about, the one we stay in it.

This night I was afraid, I couldn’t sleep, I knock his bedroom door, he was still awake, he said:

– Come on in.

– Hi, I’m sorry, I disturb you.

– No, it’s okay, come. What is it?

– I can’t sleep, and a little bit afraid, I don’t know why I’m even telling you this now.

– It’s okay, come down.

-I can’t, I’m afraid, I’m afraid of you and this house looks like I saw before and I don’t know what I’m feeling now.

He held my hand, pulled me closer, I felt a heat in my body toward his touch like he knew it, he kept pulling me closer, and then he looked at me, his gaze was full of things I keep questioning it, who is this man? Why do I feel something strange for him? something not normal, like I’m falling for him, falling in love, this word not in my dictionary, no it can’t happen, He moved his hand up and down on my hands, I tried to move away from him, but he held me stronger than before, without knowing what was his next move he kissed me, his lips seemed like it was hungry for mine or maybe I’m the one who was hungry for him, I found myself giving up to him completely like crazy, I gave up to a man I knew for a day and half.

We kept postponing the search for my team, I really keep falling for him, I like the way he lives in, I like to be with him, feeling his strong body around me, keeping me safe.

until we decide we must go find my team, we went to the town to search for them, we found out that they went to the city and told the police about my disappearance, I asked Jack to come with me to the city and he agreed, we flew to New York in the next morning, we were going to my house to stay in it, but Jack told me, he has a house here, we’ll go to it, I was happy that he wanted me with him, but somehow, my head felt like this event happened before, somehow all those events became like Deja Vu, like they happened to me before, but if it happened why I can’t remember it? I cleaned my head from those thoughts and we went to his place, but when I got inside, I saw a photo of him with a woman, he went fast to hide it before I could see who was the woman?

I came inside the house, it was modern, New York rich style houses, I called the magazine and my team, reassuring them that I’m okay and everything is good, we made a date have lunch together this Friday.

Friday came fast, everything was good, I took Jack to meet my friends and team when anything happens I feel the same way I felt before, and I feel that those things happened.

We were in Jack’s BMW black car with a driver, suddenly I saw the street we took, my head was spinning, I felt like something strange happening here, I can’t stop feeling bad about that street, I said immediately:

– Stop, please, stop the car.

– Babe, are you okay?

Jack looked at me and his face showed he was worried about me, I said:

– no, I feel something strange, I feel that everything happened till now, happened to me before, I can’t stop feeling this way, and when I got in your house you hide a photo of you and a woman, who is she? And who are you really?

I felt hyper and angry from what I feel, I felt my head going to explode, I got out from the car, He got out after me, he tried to hold me, but I kept walking in circles like crazy, I said:

– I feel crazy, I feel something weird Jack, something like Déjà vu, something like I lost some memories inside my head, my conscious telling me that something is wrong, sudden I feel all those events happened to me before, and this date happened before, and when you hide that photo I tried not to think about it, but when I searched for it I couldn’t find it, what happened to me? Why do I feel like that? My mind going to explode….

– Come down please, Elena, for God’s sake, please, come down. Let’s go back to our home.

Before he can continue I cut him and said:

– Your home, not mine.

– Babe, please, we’ll talk at the house, not here, please!

I went with him to his house, when we got back, he told me to sit down and he will come back to me, after a while he came back and gave me some diaries, and a photo albums, every diary and photo album for five years ago, in this moment I was mixed up, afraid, feeling empty, feeling bad, angry, all of the feeling mixed up together.

He sat beside me on the couch; he held my both hands between his strong hands and said:

– Before opening those diaries and albums, you have to come down and hear me very carefully, okay?!

I was afraid, but I got myself together and said:

– 0—okay!!!

He took a long breath, those seconds of silence I felt it like I’m in hell, and then he broke the silence and said:

– Your name is Elena Martin, worked in National Geographic magazine as a photographer, your age now is 30 right?!

– Yes!

– Five years ago, you went to the island you were in days ago, and we met by the same way, and you were lost too, your car broke, you were wearing a white dress, the same dress, the same car, you love this car so much, when we met, we did the same things happened between us, we fell in love with each other, then we found about your team did the same thing telling the police about your disappearance, we went back to New York, we met your friends, we got married, we fill our life with love and happiness, yeah we were so different, but even when we fight, we can’t stay away from each other , we make love after every fight, I loved you like crazy, madly completely in love with you, you too, and you felt it right?! In this year’s Christmas we were going to your family in Alabama, we had an accident and you were in coma for a month I was praying every day to God to save you, I was so much in pain and it was hell for me, when you wake up you saw me, and I was so happy, you said to me what made me fall apart, you said “where am I? Are you a doctor?” the doctor said to us you don’t remember me or remember the last 5 years of your life, then we had this idea telling you that we still in 2011, not 2016 and make everything like before with every little detail like a scenario you live it again, that photo you talked about was me and you in our honeymoon, those diaries are yours and photo albums are for us and our families and friends, see them make sure that I told you the truth.

I kept looking at him, didn’t talk or say anything, I was afraid enough to scream and raise my voice saying no that can’t be the truth, that can’t happen, I lost 5 years, why this happens to me when I was thinking my life was so good and perfect for me? why I lost those 5 years I lived with him and loving him, suddenly I broke the silence to ask him all those questions spinning in my head and make me feel crazy, make me in hell and lost and empty, I asked:

– Why those five years? Why I lost them? Why not my whole memory?!

– The doctors said you lost them because of some psychological reasons, we were fighting before the Christmas, that time was like crazy and we fought hard, and yes, I hurt you, because of my jealousy, then we made love hard and tough not like every time, you loved it, but that made you afraid of me more, we didn’t talk for week, I was mad because of that you were finishing some work and me too, we were busy enough not to talk just sleep. Then that accident happened!!!

– Mmm, and why no one told me about anything from the beginning?

– Because the doctor said you won’t be able to take it especially you were in a coma, this one could be a shock for you enough to send you into a coma again and no one of us could risk that.

– I see.

I looked at the things in my hand, I  opened the photos, I watched them with tears burning my eyes, yes, I love him, I know that I remember my family, my friends, my work, everything else except him, I wanted now to remember him, oh my God he felt pain and hurt and have patient to wait for me and did all of that to me to make me remember, oh my I cried so hard seeing every photo of us and our families, friends, and everyone.

I opened the diaries, read the 2011 diary, I closed it immediately after the pages that told me he was telling the truth, I’m his wife, and he’s my love, my only love, oh my God, dear God Help me, please… I cried, he sat beside me, so close to me, I couldn’t fight him, I wanted that, wanted to dig my head into his chest and leave myself to him…..

At Sunday we went to the doctor, the doctor who was treating me, in the past day I was reading my diaries, didn’t want to talk or see anyone, I kept reading, and crying, Jack was beside me the whole time, I won’t lie about that I felt safe when he was beside me and around me.

We go inside to the doctor he made some tests and talked to me about everything happened to me, I told him the story and he told me:

– listen to me Mrs. Elena, that vow you have might be forever and might be for another year, month, week, few other seconds, we don’t know for sure how it will take? but from the things you told me now, that somehow you’ll remember at least few things, like your husband, and that’s is good thing, I want you to have faith and please come to me every two weeks to check you up, now you know the whole truth and everything else will come step by step slowly don’t fight and don’t try hard and exhausted yourself, those vitamins I wrote to you, you’ll take it every day after breakfast.

Jack and I said:

– Thank you so much, doctor.

we got back to the house, I took today off from work to take rest and sleep a little, I didn’t say a word to Jack or he said any word to me, I went into the bathroom, fill the tube with hot water, and put beautiful smell soap, then got inside it, I relaxed myself, my body felt like I was running 1000 of miles, my head stopped thinking, I had enough to think about, I got outside wearing me jeans and pale blue t-shirt, I found Jack in the study room working, I got inside and sat in front of him, I said:

– I want to go back to my house, please.

He looked at me and his eyes showed how he was terrified and sad;

– Oh, why Elena?

– I want to be alone for some time to think and know what I want.

– I can’t stop you, but think about it, please, Elena.

– I thought about it.

– okay I will drive you tomorrow.

– No, I want now, please.

#to_be_continued


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